Dear Oldman Newspaper

Dear Oldman Newspaper,

Hello old friend. I must offer my most humble of apology for not writing in so long. I fear I’m living in a flavor where my creative mind is muffled by the work and overstimulation of summer, but only for a spell I can assure you this. I haven’t forgotten about you, the things you keep for me, the things you help me remember, the life lessons you help me document. Like the time I held that little girl through the corn maze (I Can See the End), or how much I miss my Grandma (Tears and Jimmy Dean). You help me tell some good stories Oldman.
I must say that I favor the stories of God’s unfailing love. How God has always come through for you and me. I’ve looked back through your archives and, oh my, there have been some dark days. Days that felt like rain clouds were following you and I around raining on every parade we made for ourselves. But again, God’s unfailing love won in the end. And I suppose that in this dark spell of unsure that it will soon pass and God’s game plan for my life will keep unraveling…in due time, in due time.

I write you Oldman with the writer’s block heavy on my hand. Who put it there I’ll never know. It’s been heavier lately, this block. It’s big and black. It heavy but empty. This block that’s crushing my hand is electric. It hurts. It’s not a pain that’s enough to stop my pen from pushing the ink, but a pain that’s enough to cloud my thoughts, even my judgment. I’ve lost something. Where does faith go when you lose it? I haven’t lost my faith don’t be crazy, but I’ve lost something. To put my thoughts to virtual paper subsequently and capture them accurately is like nailing a fly to jello. If I’ve gained anything in the past few months it’s faith. It was just a question. What I really want to know is where is God taking us, Oldman. All of these new convictions hitting me in the face, New Testament thoughts and  principles coming to light.

It’s not faith that I lack, it’s complete understanding. But will I ever really have complete understanding? Would that be dangerous? To be honest, I lack companionship. That’s it. The kind of companionship that challenges me, and makes my innate worldly self submit. The one that keeps me company when no one else wants to, even when I’m not willing. That companion that archives your thoughts and emotions and reproduces them in a way that’s positive. At first I found it in you Oldman, then put it into a girls safe keep. But now that I don’t have either of you where is my refuge? In that lies the answer.  Until I find refuge in the only person that gave me everything I’ve ever known, good and bad, deserved and undeserved, that Person will continue to strip everything away until I realize how truly naked I am with out Him.  Oldman I beg of you, don’t let me forget my one and only Refuge.

Regards,
Brian

Deuteronomy 33:27
27 The eternal God is your refuge,
and underneath are the everlasting arms.